As the Father of the Bride, you have one of the most important roles at your daughter’s wedding, but you may feel left out throughout the planning process as the bride tends to do most of the planning with her mom.
Most dads are okay with the fact that they don’t have to do much, but others want to be included throughout the process as they can, seeing that they may be writing most of the checks to make this dream wedding come to life. Below are some roles that the Father of the Bride (FOB) can jump into throughout the planning process if he really wants to be a part of the journey.
Food & Beverage
The food and beverage is definitely a big part of the wedding day and a great place for the FOB to chime in if he wants to. Some FOBs love food, wine, beers, etc. and want to make sure the best is selected for his daughter’s special day. If your venue or caterer offers a tasting, this is also a great place for the FOB to be included!
Depending on if the FOB has an interest in photos or florals, this is a great place to help your daughter select vendors. I have worked with FOBs in the past that have a green thumb and are really interested in the floral selections. Others love photography and want to help the couple select their photographer for the day. It all depends on how much the FOB cares about certain vendors that the couple will book.
Walking Your Daughter Down the Aisle
So although a lot of FOBs don’t feel very included during the planning process, they do get one of the most important roles of the day - walking their daughter down the aisle. Couple of things to note - you will stand on her right so that your right hand is available to shake her groom’s hand. When you get her up to the front, be sure to give her a hug or a kiss, shake the hand of the groom (or give him a hug) and hand her off!
Another very popular role for the FOB is the welcome toast. Typically the welcome toast is right before dinner is served, or before the blessing. This is usually very short and sweet and congratulates the couple and thanks everyone for coming to celebrate for the weekend. Sometimes the couple will do this toast if they are hosting the event, but a lot of the time the Father will do this toast.
Finally, another very important role is the father/daughter dance. So start thinking of what song you want to share with your daughter on her wedding day. If your daughter chooses to have this as a formal event, the DJ or band will call the both of you to the dance floor to share your special dance together. This is usually followed by the mother/son dance and a killer dance party!
In some way, shape or form at your wedding you are going to want to be sure to say hi and thank each person that was able to join you in the celebration. The receiving line used to be the most popular way to do this, but here are some ideas as to how you can take care of this task, depending on your wedding day schedule.
The receiving line is a bit old fashioned, but it does come in rather handy from time to time. If you are getting married at a church and/or you have a lot of time to kill in between your ceremony and reception, I would highly recommend thee receiving line. This way you are able to greet all of your guests, with your parents, immediately after the ceremony, go for photos and meet them at the reception. I typically recommend this for my clients that have more than enough time in between their ceremony and reception.
Greeting Guests at the Tables
If you do not have time for a receiving line, or think it is too old fashioned, then the fall back would be to greet your guests at the tables after you have finished each course of your meal. It is always nice to have someone in charge of making sure you get back to your seats when each course is brought out so that you do not miss a course. This is a great option, but remember to keep it short and sweet at each table - keep it movong! I would also recommend that you choose to sit at a sweetheart style table so that you are not leaving your guests at your table each time you get up.
The Cocktail Hour
If you are having a less formal affair, and you are having all of your photos done before the ceremony, then it is perfectly fine to mingle at cocktail hour and visit with all of your guests. That way you can enjoy your meal without interruption and converse with those at your head table.
On The Dance Floor
If you don't like those options, and would rather keep it super casual, then just thank your guests by dancing the night away with them!!
I always love when we cross over into a new year, because my brides can finally say “I am getting married this year!”. Which also means that their wedding day is creeping even closer and wedding planning has to get kicked into high gear. Here is a list of what my 2014 brides are working on at this point in their planning process once the New Year has hit.
1. Finalizing the Guest List: Who are definite? Who can we cut? Are kids invited?
2. Vendors: If your major vendors are not secured yet (florist, photographer, DJ/Band) get on it and make some final decisions!
3. Venue: If you do not have a venue and you are looking at 2014, you will need to reach out ASAP to get availability in the months you are interested in! At this time, September 2014 is almost completely booked for most venues and vendors!
4. Save-The-Dates: At this point, most all weddings for 2014 should have sent their save the dates. The exception would be weddings in October, November, December.
5. Invites: The process should be in the works for design! Invites go out around 3 months before your wedding date.
6. Wedding Website: Be sure you have one and that it is up to date with information!
7. Payments: Be sure to do a review of your vendor contracts and see when your next payments are due.
8. Attire: Finalize what everyone is wearing and start ordering!
9. Rings: Start looking at wedding bands and be sure to order them in time so that they are ready for you to pick-up a couple of weeks before the wedding!
10. The Fun Stuff: Decor, favors, photo booths, oh my!
You’re engaged! Yay! The ring is sparkling, you can’t get the grin of your face and you have updated your facebook status.....now what? We have put together a list for you to get on your way to planning your perfect Cape Cod wedding after you have said yes!
1. Get a manicure
Funny, but true - you don’t want that sparkly new bobble to be overshadowed by some ugly nails! Go out and treat yourself to a manicure to show off your diamond! You can also find some pretty cheap, and awesome, press on french manicures now a days as well that will last longer!
2. Make your guest list
Open up an excel doc, word doc, Google doc, or whatever your preference is for being somewhat organized and start that guest list. Think of close family, friends, ask your parents about who they will want to invite, and make sure you have everyone that you would want to be there. Now go back and look at your list again. Are there guests that should be on the B list instead? Make sure your numbers are manageable. And remember, if you are having a true destination wedding, an average of 20% of your guests will not attend. There are also guests that you have to invite, but you know will not be able to make it.
3. Figure out your budget
Sit down with your fiance and start talking dollars. How much will each of you be putting into the budget? What about parents? Will they be helping with half, certain items like the dress and dinner or the rehearsal dinner? It may be helpful for you to check out lists online that show you traditional ways that the costs are split - here is a quick list from Real Simple. Once you have your budget, you will have to compare that to how many people you are planning to invite. Do the numbers make sense with your budget? Do you have to cut back on the guest list to ensure you have the wedding of your dreams?
4. Find a venue & set a date
Fair warning: Unless you have had your heart set on a location on Cape Cod since you were 8 years old and you have an unlimited budget, this part of the process can be the most stressful. But rest assured, that once you have the date and venue set it gets easier from here on out. It is always good to reach out to any and all venues that you think would fall into your budget. Check their availability and ask for their pricing. This may be another good time to get out an excel doc to start comparing your options. Every venue works differently, so it is not as easy as comparing apples to apples. Stay tuned for another post regarding what to ask venues before you book! But also check out this past post about how to choose your reception location.
5. Hire a planner
I have to do it and say that one of the best things you can do once you get engaged is hire a wedding planner. Wedding planners have connections on the Cape and can save you hours and hours of time in finding locations that fit your budget and your guest count. They can then go on to save you money and stress throughout the planning process. I am not just saying this because I am a planner, but when you come across other posts on the web regarding what to do after you get engaged, almost all of them say to do this! It is totally worth looking into!
Plan. Relax. Enjoy.
At Cape Cod Celebrations, your vision is our brand. Learn more about how we can help you pull together your beautiful Cape Cod Wedding.